digitalshawn.com the life of a guppie

unrequited

It is hard to deal with feelings when you don’t really understand how those feelings came to be or what you can do about them.

Most people would think that I’m referring to some sort of midlife crisis as I graduate from Ohio Dominican but this is something a little deeper and much harder to grasp.

I’ve fallen for someone. I don’t think it would work out.  I say that knowing that it wouldn’t be possible and the feelings I have for him are not returned.  There’s a part of me that wants to hold out hope.

I’ve had these feelings for quite sometime and it’s been somewhat impossible for me to move forward…on…  I’ve never had feelings that have encompassed me but these have.  I see people or meet someone new and I compare them to him.  Things that used to be enjoyable with other people have lost their feelings.  It’s as if I am just going through the motions.

I don’t know what would make me move on.   I’ve never told him how I feel. I don’t want to go through with the rejection or the awkwardness after.

I don’t really talk about this with my friends either.  I don’t really think any of them would understand.

Sometimes an unrequited love is just that unrequited and it’s the letting go that makes us stronger.  I’m just not ready to let go.