Sep/060
more updates
I think the very short lived talking between said boy and I is over. As he didn’t return my call on Thursday night and ignored my two, count them yes only two messages to him. One Friday and then one today.
I’m proud that I wasn’t crazy psycho attention whore. I’m disappointed that nothing came from us talking. I know he was way out of my league but it would have been nice to have gone out on a date. Even if we didn’t click as dates it would be nice to meet more people in Columbus.
In other words. I upgrade my gym membership at Lifetime. Now I can take two people per month and them not pay a fee! It’s exciting.
Tonight we go in at 7:00 PM and work until 12:30 AM. We are beginning the first of two conversions tonight. It will be long and tedious tonight. To top it off, I have to be in on Monday at 7:30 AM. At least I will get out of there at 4:00 PM. But still it’s not like I will enjoy the 7:30 AM Cattle Call.
Sep/060
crazy…
there are rules to dating and specifically when you just meet someone about the amount of contact you can have with a person.
For example if you had a wonderful conversation with a striking guy it’s not acceptable the next day to be so needy for contact that you send messages until he responds.
It is a cardinal rule of dating or meeting someone.
Right now, I want to be the person who talks until you get some sort of answer. But I know that doing that will only label me something terrible. So I am resisting calling him or sending a message on AIM. Not because I don’t want to talk with him but because I’ve sent one message. If he wants to talk it’s now in his court.
It’s not a feeling I like but a situation I don’t want to cross.
So here’s to me not going crazy tonight.
Sep/061
perceptions…
The world is all about perceptions. The perceptions that people can have about you can be either stigmatizing or uplifting. Often times I have a very difficult time with my own self perception.
I am my own worst critic.
I have been better with this aspect in my life. I don’t look at my thinning hair and think:
- God I’m 24 why am I loosing my hair, I’ll never find someone to date.
- Look at this spare tire, I could roll down a hill and be fine.
The point is that I’ve already thought of what most may have already have thought. My life has changed from focusing on the negatives to trying to change the negatives into something I like. Each day I affirm something about myself to help remain positive.
Today, I was sitting in a class room finishing up a paper before my class began. I walked in and didn’t notice someone sitting in the far corner of the classroom. However when it was six and we all got up to go to class so did this woman. She was probably the largest woman I have ever seen. She had difficulty walking and kept her head down.
I am sure people on campus have a very negative perception of her. I have a very stark contrasting perception. The individual woman herself was lost and the imagery of being very obese penetrated my mind. I thought primarily of my family in seeing her. I don’t exactly come from a health conscious family. Everyone in my immediate family could be considered overweight or even obese.
I think of the hardships that people have based off of the perceptions people can create.
- Does she have friends?
- If she has trouble walking what does she do for fun?
It goes the same for other factors as well. If people know you take an anti-depressant will they label you unstable?
The world is full of perceptions and while we have the power to change certain perceptions others remain. I wonder at times if I am the only one that sees things in this type of manner. I’m sure some would mock or make fun of her either behind her back or even to her face. Why do we celebrate those without even the most fundamental idea of humanity.
I will never understand those who laugh at others misfortunes and who are then celebrated by their friends. How are we suppose begin to accept and celebrate differences when we allow such pettyness to continue? I often wonder how we as a society will progress if we can’t get past such trivial issues.
Sep/060
PR
I have to admit that I’ve been doing quite well with this whole jogging thing… I know that 1.7 miles isn’t a lot and many marathoners will call that distance small but to me it’s starting a great accomplishment.
Tonight I was able to run that distance in 22:45 which is 15 seconds faster than my previous personal record.
I think I may be going back to meet with the trainer so I can incorporate some weights back into my routine.
A belated update from Friday night, hung out with Jordan and his partner at some random guy’s birthday party. It’s not too often we get to hang out and I always enjoy myself when we do.
On a side note… I had two bloody marry’s at dinner and two blue moons and I had a nice buzz going. Unfortunately at midnight I was pooped and drove my ass home.
Sep/060
sometimes you just have to cram it in…
Saturday was a beautiful day here in Columbus with the exception of the rain. Not wanting to stay in the apartment Chris and I went to see Little Miss Sunshine.
It was a fantastically cute movie that was warm and hilarious. Of course for the two of us sometimes the laughter begins before the movie rolls.
We needed to get a bite to eat before the movie. So we decided upon Chipotle. When we entered hardly anyone was there but as soon as we were in line we had a cute gay couple enter in the line.
It was obvious they were out on a date. It showed and again it was cute.
During the time I was waiting for my fajita bowl to be finished I was actively over hearing their conversation. The counter guy had some issues wrapping Chris’s burrito. (I’ve never heard of any issue’s wrapping Chris’s burrito but I guess that’s for a different time.) I ask Chris if they were having issues. Chris in his daunting fashion turned around looked one of the cute gays in the eye and said “Sometimes you just have to cram it in. You know?”
Sep/060
free
The other night I noticed a promotion where I could download for free the season finale from Lost, Desperate Housewives, and Grey’s Anatomy. I of course did download those episodes, what can I say I’m a sucker for free.
The next day I went and checked my email. Apple had charged me 1.99 plus tax for each episode. It came to approximately $11.74 (Each episode had sneak peeks at the following seasons episodes). I immediately went and checked my bank account to see if I was charged. Unfortunately my suspicions were accurate. I was billed for those free videos.
I didn’t bother much with it because it was about 12 bucks and if I needed the money I could always dispute the charge with the bank and have it the next day.
Saturday morning I woke up to an email from apple themselves….
It was a great and truly unexpected surprise. Not only did they refund my amount they also gave me three free credits.
Thank you iTunes Store!
Sep/060
i love you
Three simple words… At the heart the most sincere expression one person can have towards another. The L word is one to be celebrated and revered. However, what happens to those on the outside of the coupledom and their expression of Love?
It’s easy those on the outside; those friends are quickly forgotten.
At the moment the L word is said the unique bond is formed between the two. It’s at that moment that their separate lives begin to diminish and their lives as one take precedent. Individualism is lost in a willingness not to be alone. Expressions like “we think or we have plans” begins to permeate throughout their lives. (As only to be expected.)
I understand that my view is somewhat selfish and negative. But, as I am facing loosing a great friend due to the L word. I think it is fair to acknowledge a view that is often not expressed. I’m loosing my running buddy and someone I feel close enough to share my feelings. It is not often that I have that kind of friendship and the fact that I am beginning to loose someone I feel close to is upsetting.
I am happy and hope that everything works out for the utmost best for him. He deserves that companionship and relationship in his life.
It is possible that after the initial shock of the L word is uttered and their lives altered that some sort of previous order is restored and friendships grow slowly back.
I’m certainly hoping that’s the case.
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